The holiday season, especially Thanksgiving, can be a challenging time for separated or divorced parents navigating child custody arrangements. While the holidays are often seen as a time for family and togetherness, co-parenting during the holidays can bring unique stresses as parents work to ensure their children feel loved, secure, and included in celebrations.
Creating a joyful, stress-free Thanksgiving experience for the children requires careful planning, open communication, and a commitment to cooperation. By focusing on what’s best for the children and setting aside personal differences, parents can help make Thanksgiving a special and memorable holiday for everyone involved.
Here are some pointers on how co-parents can make Thanksgiving a joyous occasion for their children.
1. Start Planning Early With Child Custody Schedules
Like everything else regarding co-parenting, planning early goes a long way in negating last-minute conflict. Making early plans ensures that every aspect of the Thanksgiving holiday is well known to both parents and the child/children ahead of time. Part of early planning should encompass the actual time-sharing agreement during the holiday, with detailed drop-off and pick-up times.
As you can imagine, coordinating with your co-parents to set a Thanksgiving schedule can be challenging. As such, you should be flexible and understand the parenting plan in the original decree will come in handy.
Additionally, you should be open to communicating with your co-parent to ensure the preferences and expectations regarding the Thanksgiving Day holiday arrangements are well known. To this end, you should consider creating a shared calendar to keep track of plans and ensure transparency.
2. Consider Rotating or Sharing Thanksgiving
Pros and cons of each option, and how to decide what’s best based on the family’s unique situation. There are different ways you can schedule Thanksgiving to make the most out of the holiday while prioritizing the child’s/children’s needs. As co-parents, you can choose to stick to the existing schedule.
This means that you strictly adhere to stipulations established in the child-sharing decree. That said, you can agree on a different schedule that better balances the needs of all parties involved.
Some common Thanksgiving parental schedule-sharing arrangements include:
- Alternating years – Co-parents can decide to alternate major holidays annually. This means that if you spend Thanksgiving with the kids this year, they will spend it with your co-parent next year. Remember, there is a balancing act when sharing all the holidays every year, such as Christmas, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, summer break, spring break, and other major holidays.
- Sharing the holiday – With this arrangement, the co-parents split the day or swap afternoon/evening, allowing kids to spend time with both parents on this special day.
- Extended Thanksgiving Holiday – Co-parents can coordinate an “extended Thanksgiving weekend” so each parent has meaningful time. The extended visitation schedule will allow both parents to spend ample and meaningful time with their kids.
Some co-parents choose to spend Thanksgiving together for the sake of the child.
3. Prioritize the Children’s Experience
Whichever Thanksgiving scheduling arrangements you choose, co-parents must prioritize their child/children and do what is best for their offspring. You should prioritize your child’s happiness while planning for the holidays.
This means setting aside personal differences and focusing on helping your child build memories of being loved by both parents. Avoid elements that may create a stressful environment for the child/children.
To this end, co-parents should openly communicate the holiday schedule. Doing so will ensure your kids understand the plan for the day and how they will celebrate Thanksgiving.
Moreover, co-parents should encourage their kids to bring a comfort item or favorite toy between the co-parents’ homes to create a sense of familiarity and comfort. This is especially important when the arrangement requires a smooth transition between parent’s homes.
4. Set Boundaries with Extended Family
With every family matter, every family member seemingly has a say on how things should be done. As such, if you hazard a guess that your extended family will have an opinion on the holiday arrangement, chances are you will be correct. To this end, you must learn how best to handle the opinions of your extended family members, who may disagree with the custody arrangements.
You should set boundaries by opening a dialogue about the schedule. Express the reasoning behind the arrangement and set the expectations on how much and when they can expect to see the children. Importantly, you should request that your family members focus on creating a positive atmosphere during the holidays and avoid instigating or inviting additional stress or conflict.
While it’s difficult to please everyone, you can strike a balance between meeting your co-parenting obligations and meeting the expectations of the extended family. Ultimately, you should know that as co-parents, you have the final say on the Thanksgiving schedule, not your extended family.
5. Create New Thanksgiving Traditions
It’s the shared moments around the dinner table, storytelling, and enjoying a feast that makes us love, remember and cherish Thanksgiving. As co-parents, you can use this to your advantage to make Thanksgiving feel special for your children. Establish unique traditions that make for a memorable experience, whether you celebrate together or separately.
Ideas for new Thanksgiving Traditions are many varied. You can alternate the “big meal” with each parent, creating a new tradition. You could establish special breakfast traditions, go to a parade or watch on TV, do gratitude journaling, watch or play a sport, or take an annual Thanksgiving walk together. The list is endless!
6. Have a Backup Plan for Unexpected Situations
Flexibility is an essential part of co-parenting. This also applies to Thanksgiving holiday planning. You should know that the unforeseen can happen (such as travel delays or illness), changing the overall schedule and plans.
As such, creating a backup plan with the co-parent is essential to manage unexpected situations without causing stress for the children. The best way to create backup plans is to create the main plan together and, while at it, create a contingency plan. Additionally, you should make deliberate plans for emergencies. Use a shared calendar to make planning a tad easier.
Both parents need to be understanding and patient during the planning stages and if any emergencies arise.
Creating a Joyful Thanksgiving: Co-Parenting with Care and Cooperation
As Thanksgiving approaches, thoughtful planning and open communication can make all the difference in creating a joyful holiday for your children. By prioritizing their happiness and embracing flexibility, you can ensure a memorable Thanksgiving filled with warmth and family connection.
If you’re navigating child custody arrangements or need guidance on co-parenting during the holidays, the experienced family law attorneys at Durak Law are here to help. Contact us today at (615) 812-2829 to learn how we can support you in creating a holiday schedule that works for everyone involved.
