As a family law firm serving clients throughout Franklin, Tennessee, one of the most frequent questions we encounter during custody disputes is: “Can my child choose which parent to live with?” This is understandably a pressing concern for parents navigating the emotional terrain of separation and divorce.
While Tennessee courts consider a child’s preference in custody matters, it’s important to understand that this preference is not the sole deciding factor. Courts will always prioritize what’s in the best interests of the child, and that involves considering a wide range of factors beyond the child’s choice.
In this post, we’ll walk you through how a child’s input fits into custody decisions under Tennessee law, helping you better understand what to expect in your specific situation. Call our experienced Franklin child custody lawyer today at (629) 210-0866 to learn more.
Tennessee Custody Law Overview
In Tennessee, all custody determinations are guided by one overarching principle: the best interests of the child. The courts aren’t simply looking to award custody to the parent the child prefers; rather, they’re seeking the arrangement that will best serve the child’s overall well-being and development.
When making custody decisions, Tennessee courts address both legal custody (who makes important decisions about the child’s education, healthcare, and upbringing) and physical custody (where the child primarily lives). These arrangements can be joint or primarily assigned to one parent, depending on the family’s circumstances.
Tennessee Code § 36-6-106 outlines multiple factors courts must consider when determining custody arrangements. A child’s preference is just one among many factors that judges evaluate holistically to reach their decision. This comprehensive approach ensures that all aspects of the child’s well-being are considered, not just their stated preference.
When Can a Child Express a Preference?
Under Tennessee law, children 12 years or older may express a “reasonable preference” regarding which parent they wish to live with. This threshold age reflects the legislature’s understanding that by age 12, most children have developed sufficient maturity to form meaningful opinions about their living arrangements.
However, the law also provides flexibility for younger children. Courts may hear the preferences of children under 12 upon request if the judge believes the child has sufficient maturity to express a reasonable preference. This case-by-case approach recognizes that children develop at different rates, and some younger children may be quite capable of articulating thoughtful preferences.
It’s crucial to understand that for preferences to carry weight, they must be “reasonable” – meaning they should be based on legitimate factors rather than frivolous considerations. Courts are wary of preferences that appear to stem from manipulation, parental pressure, or superficial reasons like fewer household rules at one parent’s home.
How the Court Considers a Child’s Preference
When evaluating a child’s stated preference, Tennessee courts typically conduct a nuanced assessment that considers several dimensions of the child’s expressed wishes.
First, judges examine the reasoning behind the child’s choice. A preference based on meaningful factors – such as a parent’s involvement in the child’s education or activities, emotional support, or stability – carries more weight than preferences based on lenient discipline or material gifts.
Second, the court evaluates the child’s maturity and emotional development. A thoughtful, articulate explanation from a child demonstrates greater maturity than a preference without substantive reasoning. As the Tennessee Code explicitly states, “The preferences of older children should normally be given greater weight than those of younger children”.
Third, judges consider whether the stated preference truly serves the child’s best interests. Even a strongly expressed preference may be overridden if the court determines that the preferred living arrangement would be harmful or unsuitable for the child’s well-being.
How is the Child’s Preference Communicated to the Court?
In Tennessee, a child’s preference is often presented to the court through what’s called an “in-camera” interview. Despite what the name might suggest, this doesn’t involve cameras or recording equipment. “In camera” is Latin for “in chambers,” referring to a private meeting between the judge and the child in the judge’s office.
These private interviews serve several important purposes. They protect children from the stress and potential trauma of testifying in open court, where they might feel caught between parents. They also allow the judge to assess the child’s sincerity, understanding, and the reasoning behind their preference in a less intimidating environment.
During these conversations, judges are not simply asking children “Which parent do you want to live with?” Instead, they’re carefully observing the “climate and chemistry of the relationships between children and parents,” seeking to hear “not only the words but the music of the various relationships,” as eloquently described in a Michigan Appellate Court decision cited in current legal practice.
In some cases, particularly complex ones, the court may appoint other professionals to help assess the child’s preferences and needs. A Guardian ad Litem (GAL) may be appointed to represent the child’s best interests, or a custody evaluator might conduct a thorough assessment that includes the child’s wishes as part of a broader evaluation.
Other Factors Courts Consider Alongside Preference
While a child’s preference is important, Tennessee law requires courts to consider numerous other factors when making custody determinations. Under Tennessee Code § 36-6-106, these factors include:
- The love, affection, and emotional ties between each parent and the child
- Each parent’s ability and disposition to provide necessities like food, clothing, medical care, and education
- The importance of continuity in the child’s life and the stability of their environment
- The stability of each parent’s family unit
- The mental and physical health of all parties involved
- The child’s home, school, and community record
- Evidence of physical or emotional abuse to the child or other family members
- The character and behavior of any other people who might be in the home and their potential impact on the child
This helps to make sure that custody decisions reflect the child’s complete needs rather than any single factor. Even if a child strongly prefers one parent, the court may rule differently if other factors suggest another arrangement would better serve their interests.
Common Misconceptions About Child Choice in Custody
One of the most prevalent misconceptions is the belief that once children reach a certain age in Tennessee, they can choose which parent to live with. This is not accurate. While the child’s preference is considered and may carry significant weight, particularly with older teens, children do not have the legal authority to make the final decision about their living arrangements.
Another common misunderstanding is that a court will automatically follow the child’s wishes. What happens, in reality, is that a judge can and will rule against a child’s stated preference if evidence suggests that preference does not align with their best interests.
For instance, if a child prefers to live with a parent who has demonstrated instability, substance abuse issues, or an inability to meet the child’s needs, the court will likely place the child’s welfare above their stated preference.
Finally, many parents don’t realize how vigilant courts are about detecting parental influence or coaching. Judges and family law professionals are trained to identify signs that a child has been pressured to express a certain preference. Attempting to manipulate a child’s testimony can seriously damage a parent’s credibility with the court.
What Parents Should Do if Their Child Expresses a Preference?
If your child expresses a strong preference about their living arrangements, it’s important to handle the situation thoughtfully. Take your child’s concerns and feelings seriously, but avoid putting pressure on them or making them feel responsible for the custody outcome. Children should be shielded from feeling that they must choose between parents.
It’s highly strongly recommended that you seek guidance from an experienced family law attorney who understands Tennessee custody laws. At Durak Law, our team can help you understand your rights and how the court might interpret your child’s input based on their age, maturity, and the specific circumstances of your case.
During the process, you want to be mindful of your child’s emotional needs. Custody disputes are inherently stressful for children, and feeling caught in the middle can cause significant anxiety.
Maintain a supportive environment where your child feels safe expressing their feelings without fear of disappointing either parent. Remember that regardless of the outcome, your child will benefit most from having respectful, supportive relationships with both parents whenever possible.
Contact an Experienced Tennessee Family Law Firm
In Tennessee, while children may express their preferences regarding custody arrangements, usually after age 12, the courts make custody decisions based on a thorough assessment of what will best serve the child’s interests. A child’s preference is an important factor, but it’s just part of a broader context of considerations designed to protect their well-being.
Child custody matters require a deep understanding of not just what the law says, but how it’s applied in practice by Tennessee family courts. At Durak Law in Franklin, TN, our family lawyers have guided many parents through this complex process, helping them present their cases effectively while keeping their children’s best interests at the forefront.
If you’re facing a custody dispute where your child’s preference may be a factor, contact our firm today for personalized guidance. We can help you understand how to appropriately and effectively present your child’s wishes to the court.
Every family’s situation is unique, and having experienced legal support can make a significant difference in achieving an outcome that truly serves your child’s best interests. Call our experienced child custody attorneys in Franklin today at (629) 210-0866.
